I still can't bear it. Nothing is better without you here and everything is worse. I don't know if I will ever really be able to enjoy a life without you in it. I will always feel sad, feel guilty, feel a million things but especially love. A love that has no direction to go but up and is lost somewhere and hopefully found by you. I'll never know but I do know that you knew. And that helps. Miss you so much every day more and more.